Arghhh! Why the controversy...

So, tonight I post a harmless status update on Facebook, and the first response makes me livid.  What was a reflection on MYSELF somehow became a pissing contest over the controversy of working mom vs stay-at-home-mom.

My post was "Hmmm, I wonder if I were a stay-at-home wife/mom, would I learn to love housekeeping/cleaning? I would certainly have more time for it, but I doubt I would devote much time to it....yup, I think I would be lazy!  Thankfully, I like working outside the home!"

I was simply stating the fact that I don't think I would be a good stay-at-home wife.  I feel that if I were to choose that for our family, one of my main duties would be to take care of the home, in it's entirety, while my husband supported our family. (this is my personal opinion for me and my family).  I would not expect my house to be in the state that it sometimes is with both of us working.  I would expect untidiness at times, but I would expect that for a better part of my time at home, I would be keeping the house in good shape. 

My status was simply stating that since I hate the housework and the daily chores around the house, I don't think I would make a good stay-at-home wife.

I didn't mention children, raising children, the blessing of being able to raise them....

For someone to bring children into this is a huge critical daggar to me....I don't feel that I'm NOT raising my children.  I work outside the home. I still wake my children up, pack them a lunch (while in school), I do their homework with them, I cook their supper, I give them baths, I do devotions with them, I do their prayers at night, I tuck them in, I play with them, etc.... How am I not raising them? So, to comment on my self appraisal of a housekeeper and say that it is a blessing to be home and raise one's children, really ticks me off....

I have friends who are stay-at-home-moms and I have friends who are working moms. I've come to a pretty profound conclusion over who loves their children more....

First I will explain my choice of being a working mom....
Back before I was ever pregnant, I used to say that I wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom.  During my maternity leave, I looked for every at-home opportunity to earn money. I dreaded going back to work and leaving my child with someone else during the day.  I sat down with my husband, we discussed the options and really looked at the finances and our quality of life and what we wanted.  We chose, together, that I would return to work. I got slack from a couple people, but it was my choice.

After the first few weeks, I really enjoyed working outside of the home.  There were times when I would have loved to be at home....but those days existed before I had kids too.  I enjoyed the socialization of work, I loved what I did, I felt satisfied and like I was accomplishing something.  I also felt like I was helping my husband with any financial strain he might feel supporting our family. Most of all, I felt the wonderful joy of spending my evenings and weekends with my family where we would have fun, we would play and we would just enjoy each other's time.

I didn't feel that my son (and now my daughter) ever loved caretakers more than me.  I never felt that I was missing out on development. I have yet to regret our decision for me to return to the workplace.

I have a wonderful workplace where family is a priority.  I am free to take time off with the kids when they are sick, I am free to take appointment time with the children. I have ample vacation time to spend with my family making lasting memories.  I have wonderful hours where I have evenings and weekends to spend with them.

Now my big revelation....who loves their kids more...stay-at-home-moms or working moms......
NEITHER... We are mothers and we all love our kids the same.  We would do anything for them and would rather see them happy than anything else in the world. 

As women, we need to stop trying to make the other side of what we are living feel guilty for their choices.  As responsible adults, we do what we feel is right for our families and this stupid controversy over which parent is better and which parent is more blessed really makes me angry.

Working moms love their kids.  Stay-at-home moms love their kids.  Neither one are better than the other. They have both made choices and sacrifices as a family unit and they are living the life they chose.  They don't need condemnation or criticism from anyone.

As mom's we have enough guilt in our lives, we don't need it from each other. Let us support one another in our choices.