Last night after my blog post about my struggles, I heard from God! No, it wasn't his audible voice, but it was Him nonetheless.
I was doing something with Olivia and she stopped and recited a scripture verse she memorized last year, Psalms 139:14 "How YOU made me is amazing and wonderful!" now if that isn't God sending his compassion and love and grace down to me, then I don't know what is!
You know what?!?! She is right, God mad her and she is amazing, wonderful, beautiful, intelligent and most of all, she is EXACTLY how HE wants her to be!
I love My God who is so concerned about me and my feelings that he used the very person I needed to hear Him speak through!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Struggling a little...
Olivia had her 3.5 year assessment right after Christmas. She is a bright girl and did well with what she was asked to do, but it was noted that her left eye seemed weaker than her right eye. She has been to the optometrist in the past, and at the time of her 3.5 yr assessment, I couldn't remember the optometrist saying anything about her left eye.
As a couple days passed, I had a vague memory of him mentioning something. However, she was 2 when she had her appt, so, I believe at the time we chalked it up to her being 2 and not being comfortable with the tests.
After her assessment, I called the optometrist and his receptionist confirmed that it was noted that her left eye was indeed weaker than her right.
We opted to wait for a full year to revisit. So, we would make an appointment in the summer.
Since the assessment, we had been noticing Olivia's left eye turning in quite a bit at night time. We weren't sure if it was psychosomatic or if she indeed had a problem that needed to be looked at. So, we made an appt for yesterday with the optometrist.
To our dismay, her left eye is considerably weak and my baby girl needs glasses! I'm not sure why I'm struggling with this.....is it the year's of teaching (aka brainwashing) that told me that nothing bad will ever happen to you or your family if you believe or pray right??? is it that I have the images from kids in my past who were made fun of for wearing glasses??? is it my own insecurities that my child isn't perfect??? I don't know....maybe a mix of all 3.
I know the first one is a big factor. I have been taught in church for so many years that if you believe it and claim it, and have enough faith, nothing will come nigh you or your family. I'm not theological and don't claim to know everything about the Word and what it says and doesn't say. However, I believe that this teaching has left me with nothing but guilty feelings...and I don't think guilt is from God. It makes me wonder if I didn't pray right, did I not believe enough, etc. It makes it seem like my fault. I'm at a loss on what is the right teaching on faith and will of God. I truly believe that God doesn't want bad things to happen to us and our loved ones and that we must have faith. I also have a strong belief that we live in an imperfect world and to believe that only good things will happen to us is a disillusionment. The fact that my 3-year-old needs glasses and can't see very well out of her left eye can't be a result of not believing enough, can it?
What I'm trying to focus on right now is that eyeglasses really aren't that bad. Many people wear them and are okay with it. So, why do I still feel so guilty and sad?
I think I might just have to think of all the things she has been spared in her life because of my faith and because of my belief in God and His will for mine and my family's life.
I Thessalonians 5:18 – In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
So, God I thank you for a beautifully healthy, talented, gentle, sweet, energetic, generous and loving daughter. I know that your hand is on her and that you are concerned for her. Please help me today to feel your love and grace instead of guilt as I know that feeling is not from/of You.
As a couple days passed, I had a vague memory of him mentioning something. However, she was 2 when she had her appt, so, I believe at the time we chalked it up to her being 2 and not being comfortable with the tests.
After her assessment, I called the optometrist and his receptionist confirmed that it was noted that her left eye was indeed weaker than her right.
We opted to wait for a full year to revisit. So, we would make an appointment in the summer.
Since the assessment, we had been noticing Olivia's left eye turning in quite a bit at night time. We weren't sure if it was psychosomatic or if she indeed had a problem that needed to be looked at. So, we made an appt for yesterday with the optometrist.
To our dismay, her left eye is considerably weak and my baby girl needs glasses! I'm not sure why I'm struggling with this.....is it the year's of teaching (aka brainwashing) that told me that nothing bad will ever happen to you or your family if you believe or pray right??? is it that I have the images from kids in my past who were made fun of for wearing glasses??? is it my own insecurities that my child isn't perfect??? I don't know....maybe a mix of all 3.
I know the first one is a big factor. I have been taught in church for so many years that if you believe it and claim it, and have enough faith, nothing will come nigh you or your family. I'm not theological and don't claim to know everything about the Word and what it says and doesn't say. However, I believe that this teaching has left me with nothing but guilty feelings...and I don't think guilt is from God. It makes me wonder if I didn't pray right, did I not believe enough, etc. It makes it seem like my fault. I'm at a loss on what is the right teaching on faith and will of God. I truly believe that God doesn't want bad things to happen to us and our loved ones and that we must have faith. I also have a strong belief that we live in an imperfect world and to believe that only good things will happen to us is a disillusionment. The fact that my 3-year-old needs glasses and can't see very well out of her left eye can't be a result of not believing enough, can it?
What I'm trying to focus on right now is that eyeglasses really aren't that bad. Many people wear them and are okay with it. So, why do I still feel so guilty and sad?
I think I might just have to think of all the things she has been spared in her life because of my faith and because of my belief in God and His will for mine and my family's life.
I Thessalonians 5:18 – In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
So, God I thank you for a beautifully healthy, talented, gentle, sweet, energetic, generous and loving daughter. I know that your hand is on her and that you are concerned for her. Please help me today to feel your love and grace instead of guilt as I know that feeling is not from/of You.
Jack Frost
We left Moncton around 11:00 and arrived in PEI around 1:00 pm. Since the festivities didn't start until 5 pm, we had some rest time. We then went out and walked around to get our bearings. The venue had changed this year and we were unfamiliar with the grounds. So, we walked to Wendy's to get a late lunch, then to the mall to see where the grounds were (behind the mall).
We soon, got back and got our outdoor clothes on and ventured out to Jack Frost. Unfortunately, I forgot to bring my camera, so there are no pics from our first night. Because it started at 5 and we only got there around 6 pm, and the kids bedtime is at 7 pm usually, we weren't sure how long we were going to stay. The fireworks started around 7:15, but by 7 pm, Olivia was shiverring really bad and asked to go back to the hotel room. I don't think she understood what she was asking. Last year, our hotel room overlooked the harbour (where the fireworks took place), this year, they were behind the mall as well and our room wasn't facing them. It was only around 9 pm (the kids were still up) that Olivia realized that we weren't going to see the fireworks that night. She wasn't too upset, but we made arrangements for the next night to ensure that she got to see them :)
When we got back to our room, there was no heat in our room. We called the front desk. Within 20 minutes, the heat kicked back on. Scott went to get our very late supper, and when he got back he noticed that the heat had kicked off again. I hadn't noticed since it was on long enough to warm up the room. He called again, at which point we learned that the hotel was having problems in our entire wing. They were shutting non-essential things off to accommodate the load that all the guests were causing. They said the would call the electrician the next day (ummm...something didn't seem right). The power came on and off 3 more times and finally came on to stay at 11 pm. Our kids were complaining that they were cold, so we were left snuggling in bed without being able to do anything in our hotel room. We had brought the kids' special blankets, thankfully, since they had to cuddle up in those when the finally went to bed. The hotel sent around nice complimentary snack baskets to apologize for our trouble the next day....nice touch!!!
On Saturday morning, we opted to go to the UPEI Cari complex venue. They had bouncy castles, Princess Boutique, and Superhero Training Camp as well as many different Discovery Centre activities. Later in the day, they had swimming at the complex (but we opted to stay at the hotel and swim)
In the evening, we went a little later to the Jack Frost outdoor site. We wanted to make sure that the kids didn't get too cold again. We watched The Real McCoy which is a juggling-type show and had fun with that, we went on the slides again, then found a great spot to watch the fireworks. The kids loved being outside for them this year. The loved the noises, the musical accompaniment and the fact that Daddy bought cotton candy (or cottage is what Olivia called it, lol) for the event.
On Sunday morning, we got up early, had breakfast and headed back over to the outdoor site for one last hurrah before leaving PEI. It was so bitter cold and windy, there were barely anyone there. We just kept moving and didn't let the cold stop us. We went on the ice slides quite a few times in a row, then onto the tube slides. I have a nice bruise on my tailbone from one of the bumps that I hit. While waiting for the Shrek and Fiona show, we went onto the huge snow jungle gym and had fun on some mini ice slides where the kids pretended to be penguins. After the Shrek and Fiona show, we took the shuttle back to our hotel, packed everything up into the vehicle and headed home. What a great weekend. So much fun to not be on a set schedule, enjoy our family without any interruptions. We had quite a few laughs, quite a few memories and lots of love to go around for everyone. I really recommend this for all families. It is relatively cheap and so much fun.
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| Look at the high ceiling in our room....LOVED it!!!! |
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| Scott and the family in our hotel room taking a rest before night #1 starts :) |
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| Love this picture....they are sound asleep and cuddled right up to each other....Aren't they gorgeous?!? |
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| Daddy and Noah on the shuttle to the Cari Complex |
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| Mommy and Olivia on the shuttle on the way to the Cari Complex |
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| Noah, the superhero! |
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| Olivia getting her nails done as she transforms into a princess |
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| Love the colour she chose for her eyes....my favourite colour and it looks great with her complexion |
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| In front of the wonderful Jack Frost snow sculpture |
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| Noah coming down the ice slides...you can see Daddy and Olivia waiting at the top |
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| Here comes Olivia |
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Weekend family getaway!
It has been a while since I've blogged! I guess I dissent have an urge or there wasn't anything blog-worthy!
We are getting ready to take the kids to our yearly family getaway to Jack Frost Festival. It is a wonderful outside event (with indoor events too), but it is basically a great place to enjoy your family, the outdoors, and a little getaway for very little money! It will be our 5th year going and our family always looks forward to it!
I'm hoping to take some pica that I can post on my next blog entry...whenever that is.
Off to pick up my sweet little boy from his night at PowerUP, where he is learning about respect tonight! I'm usually there with the grade 1 girls, but Liv came go
E with a low-grade fever tonight ao she couldn't go. Praying for her to feel better for the weekend!
We are getting ready to take the kids to our yearly family getaway to Jack Frost Festival. It is a wonderful outside event (with indoor events too), but it is basically a great place to enjoy your family, the outdoors, and a little getaway for very little money! It will be our 5th year going and our family always looks forward to it!
I'm hoping to take some pica that I can post on my next blog entry...whenever that is.
Off to pick up my sweet little boy from his night at PowerUP, where he is learning about respect tonight! I'm usually there with the grade 1 girls, but Liv came go
E with a low-grade fever tonight ao she couldn't go. Praying for her to feel better for the weekend!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Xbox 360 kinect
We have a new toy at our house! We tend to get the latest gaming gadgets....I'm married to a techie, so it is kind of expected.
Anyway, the kids were so excited to finish supper and go downstairs to play the kinect. They had so much fun for an hour until bedtime...they jumped, kicked, laughed and played really hard and went right to sleep at bedtime.
After my workout, I did a couple games by myself to see what it was like...what a fun little contraption. I can't wait to see if we decide to keep it so I can crack open the Biggest Loser workout and see how I get beat into shape with it :)
Anyway, the kids were so excited to finish supper and go downstairs to play the kinect. They had so much fun for an hour until bedtime...they jumped, kicked, laughed and played really hard and went right to sleep at bedtime.
After my workout, I did a couple games by myself to see what it was like...what a fun little contraption. I can't wait to see if we decide to keep it so I can crack open the Biggest Loser workout and see how I get beat into shape with it :)
Monday, January 24, 2011
Bedtime
Very seldom do we miss bedtime with our kids! If it can be avoided, I don't make plans during bedtime. This all roots from the fact I breastfed both kids until they were 2, this made leaving extra hard! To be honest, I love being home at bedtime! I love those last few minutes before they go to sleep where we tell stories, pray, sing and have some cuddle time!
Since we've had Olivia, Scott does bedtime with Noah and I so bedtime with Liv! We each trade off for a couple minutes to give the other child a quick cuddle and time!
Tonight, Scott was out at bedtime, but he made a point to call and speak to both kids on the phone to wish them a good night! Things like that make my heart smile! They love their daddy so much and for him to know how much that time means to them and make an effort to be a part of it even when he isn't home makes me realize all over again why I wanted to have children with this man! To top it off, when he got home, I saw him sneak quietly into their rooms to give them their goodnight kisses!
Good job "daddy" for making their bedtime complete!
Since we've had Olivia, Scott does bedtime with Noah and I so bedtime with Liv! We each trade off for a couple minutes to give the other child a quick cuddle and time!
Tonight, Scott was out at bedtime, but he made a point to call and speak to both kids on the phone to wish them a good night! Things like that make my heart smile! They love their daddy so much and for him to know how much that time means to them and make an effort to be a part of it even when he isn't home makes me realize all over again why I wanted to have children with this man! To top it off, when he got home, I saw him sneak quietly into their rooms to give them their goodnight kisses!
Good job "daddy" for making their bedtime complete!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
The Land Between...
What an awesome message at church today! We watched a video clip from the Leadership Summit! Jeff Manion spoke from Numbers 11 and spoke about the land between Egypt (slavery) and the Promised Land!
I recommend googling it, it could be the difference between breaking through or breaking down under the pressure of living in the land between!
Quickly, the points are as follows:
THE LAND BETWEEN
*In the Land Between we use the term “For Now”
*For now I’m living with my parents
*For now I’m working at McDonald’s
*The land between is where many of us find ourselves today, you don;t know how you got there or how you are going to to get out of it. You feel like you are in the Desert.
*God says Ill take you out of the land of Egypt into the land of promise – it doesn’t talk about the land in-between. But we know that the Israelite’s wandered for 40 years in the desert. they were in THE LAND BETWEEN.
THE LAND BETWEEN …
Numbers 11:4 read with a whining voice
IS FERTILE GROUND FOR COMPLAINT
*they didn’t complain about their condition they complained and thought that they are better off without God.
*QUESTION – How is God going to meet his servant Moses?
Numbers 11:11-14
IS FERTILE GROUND FOR MELTDOWNS
*v. 15 Kill me now – It’s too heavy I can’t carry it any more!
*QUESTION: Who’s voice do you hear more?
*Many times we are prepared for days of disappointment but rarely are we ready for long stints of disappointment.
Numbers 11:16-17
IS FERTILE GROUND FOR US 2 SEE GODS PROVISION
*God provides for our need
*What if we cried out to God and He provided?
*This can be different, and sometimes different then what we expect.
*God loves to provide … It’s what He does!
Numbers 11:18-20
IS FERTILE GROUND FOR GODS DISCIPLINE
*V 23 – Is the Lords are to short?
*Is God to weak to handle your need?
*Discipline is inflicting pain for redemptive purposes
*Warning – We tend to think we are immune from Gods discipline
IS FERTILE GROUND FOR TRANSFORMATIONAL GROWTH
*it one of the best places to learn to trust the Lord
*the between is an opportunity to transform you into the person God has created you to be
*its here that we learn to pray
*its hear that we learn to depend
HOWEVER, it doesn’t happen automatically
*when you travel through this land your heart is in danger
*its the best place for growth but its also the place people go to die.
*complaint arrives as an uninvited quest.
*complaint resist eviction
*TRUST however evicts complaint
THE SPACE BETWEEN IS SOME OF THE RICHEST SOIL WHERE GOD DOES HIS DEEPEST WORK!
I recommend googling it, it could be the difference between breaking through or breaking down under the pressure of living in the land between!
Quickly, the points are as follows:
THE LAND BETWEEN
*In the Land Between we use the term “For Now”
*For now I’m living with my parents
*For now I’m working at McDonald’s
*The land between is where many of us find ourselves today, you don;t know how you got there or how you are going to to get out of it. You feel like you are in the Desert.
*God says Ill take you out of the land of Egypt into the land of promise – it doesn’t talk about the land in-between. But we know that the Israelite’s wandered for 40 years in the desert. they were in THE LAND BETWEEN.
THE LAND BETWEEN …
Numbers 11:4 read with a whining voice
IS FERTILE GROUND FOR COMPLAINT
*they didn’t complain about their condition they complained and thought that they are better off without God.
*QUESTION – How is God going to meet his servant Moses?
Numbers 11:11-14
IS FERTILE GROUND FOR MELTDOWNS
*v. 15 Kill me now – It’s too heavy I can’t carry it any more!
*QUESTION: Who’s voice do you hear more?
*Many times we are prepared for days of disappointment but rarely are we ready for long stints of disappointment.
Numbers 11:16-17
IS FERTILE GROUND FOR US 2 SEE GODS PROVISION
*God provides for our need
*What if we cried out to God and He provided?
*This can be different, and sometimes different then what we expect.
*God loves to provide … It’s what He does!
Numbers 11:18-20
IS FERTILE GROUND FOR GODS DISCIPLINE
*V 23 – Is the Lords are to short?
*Is God to weak to handle your need?
*Discipline is inflicting pain for redemptive purposes
*Warning – We tend to think we are immune from Gods discipline
IS FERTILE GROUND FOR TRANSFORMATIONAL GROWTH
*it one of the best places to learn to trust the Lord
*the between is an opportunity to transform you into the person God has created you to be
*its here that we learn to pray
*its hear that we learn to depend
HOWEVER, it doesn’t happen automatically
*when you travel through this land your heart is in danger
*its the best place for growth but its also the place people go to die.
*complaint arrives as an uninvited quest.
*complaint resist eviction
*TRUST however evicts complaint
THE SPACE BETWEEN IS SOME OF THE RICHEST SOIL WHERE GOD DOES HIS DEEPEST WORK!
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